By
Simon Hazeldine
The buyer asks for 10%.
The seller pauses for approximately half a second.
“I’m sure we can do something.”
And at that moment, something important has happened.
Yes, margin may have just been put at risk.
But the damage can go much further than price.
The seller has also communicated information.
Perhaps the original price was not very firm.
Perhaps there is more room available.
Perhaps pressure works.
Perhaps the seller needs the deal.
Perhaps another request will produce another concession.
This is what many salespeople misunderstand about negotiation.
A concession is not only something you give.
It is also a signal the buyer interprets.
Price.
Payment terms.
Scope.
Implementation.
Support.
Delivery.
Customisation.
Contract length.
Warranty.
Resources.
Every time you move, the other side learns something.
The question is whether they learn what you intended them to learn.
This is why giving something away too quickly costs more than margin.
It can reduce perceived value.
Change the reference point for the negotiation.
Strengthen the buyer’s confidence that further pressure will work.
Weaken the seller’s credibility.
And create a pattern in which every concession becomes the starting point for the next request.
Negotiation is therefore not simply the movement of numbers.
It is the management of value, expectation, reciprocity, risk and perception.
That makes concessions a sales psychology issue as much as a commercial one.
The Expensive Reflex
Why do sellers concede too quickly?
Usually not because they have carefully calculated that the concession represents the optimum commercial outcome.
Far more often, it is emotional.
The buyer pushes.
The seller experiences discomfort.
The deal feels threatened.
Silence becomes uncomfortable.
The seller wants the tension to stop.
So they move.
That movement produces immediate psychological relief.
The buyer appears happier.
The tension drops.
The seller feels the negotiation is “back on track”.
But what has really happened?
The seller may simply have paid money to reduce their own discomfort.
That is a very expensive emotional regulation strategy.
This is why negotiation performance requires more than knowing what to say.
Sellers need enough behavioural discipline to tolerate the moment between the request and the response.
Because the first question after:
“Can you reduce the price?”
should rarely be:
“How much?”
It should be:
“Why?”
A Concession Changes the Buyer’s Reference Point
Imagine the original price is £100,000.
The buyer asks:
“Can you do anything on the price?”
The seller immediately says:
“I could probably get that to £92,000.”
What is the price now?
Psychologically, it is no longer £100,000.
£92,000 has become the new reference point.
The buyer may now think:
“If £8,000 appeared that quickly, how much more is available?”
The concession has not necessarily closed the negotiation.
It may have opened another one.
This is one reason experienced negotiators do not move casually.
Movement communicates information about where boundaries might be.
Fast movement can imply flexibility.
Large movement can imply surplus.
Repeated movement can imply that persistence will be rewarded.
So the commercial impact of a concession is not limited to what you have just given away.
You also need to consider what expectation you have created about the next concession.
Quick Concessions Can Reduce Perceived Value
There is another psychological issue.
If something is easy to give away, how valuable can it really be?
Consider two sellers.
Seller A says:
“We normally charge £12,000 for the implementation support, but I can include that at no cost.”
Immediately.
No discussion.
No exchange.
Seller B says:
“The implementation support is £12,000 because it includes three onsite sessions and 90 days of specialist support. If implementation risk is the major concern, we could look at including that, but we would need to discuss what changes elsewhere in the agreement.”
Which seller makes the implementation support feel more valuable?
Seller B.
Why?
Because they have protected its value.
This is an important negotiation principle:
If you treat your concession as having little value, do not be surprised if the buyer does the same.
The way you give matters.
Buyers Learn From Your Behaviour
Negotiation is a behavioural system.
Behaviour produces consequences.
Consequences influence future behaviour.
The buyer asks for a discount.
The seller immediately gives 5%.
What has the buyer learned?
Asking works.
So what might they do next?
Ask again.
This does not mean buyers are manipulative.
Often they are simply doing their job.
Procurement professionals, experienced executives and commercial buyers are expected to test boundaries.
If pressing generates movement, continuing to press is rational behaviour.
The seller may then complain:
“They just kept asking for more.”
But the seller may have inadvertently trained them to.
This is why your first concession matters disproportionately.
It establishes a pattern.
If the pattern is:
Request → seller discomfort → concession
expect more requests.
A stronger pattern is:
Request → exploration → value discussion → reciprocal trade
Now the buyer learns something different.
Movement is possible.
But movement has consequences.
That creates a negotiation rather than a giveaway.
The Psychology of Reciprocity
Human relationships are influenced by reciprocity.
When someone gives something to us, there can be a tendency to feel some obligation to respond.
Good negotiators understand this instinctively.
But reciprocity becomes commercially useful only if the exchange is visible.
If the seller simply gives something away, the buyer may mentally absorb the concession into the deal.
It quickly stops feeling like a concession.
It becomes the new offer.
This is why conditional language is so important.
Instead of:
“We can reduce the price by 5%.”
Try:
“If we were able to move by 5% on price, we would need to agree the three-year term and the implementation timetable we discussed.”
The movement is now linked.
It is an exchange.
The buyer can see what is being traded and why.
That makes the concession more psychologically salient.
And it protects the principle that movement should be reciprocal.
Never Confuse Reciprocity With Tit-for-Tat
Good negotiation is not:
“You give me something, then I’ll give you something.”
Delivered aggressively.
That turns collaboration into combat.
The objective is a commercially sensible exchange.
For example:
“If budget is the main constraint, there are several ways we could look at this. We could adjust scope, phase the implementation, or explore price if there is movement on term and volume. Which route makes most sense from your side?”
That feels very different.
You are solving the commercial problem together.
But you are not giving things away for nothing.
This is the difference between being collaborative and being compliant.
Great negotiators can be both warm and firm.
The Fairness Effect
Negotiation is also influenced by perceptions of fairness.
Buyers do not simply evaluate:
“Did I get the lowest possible price?”
They may also evaluate:
“Does this arrangement feel reasonable?”
“Can I justify it internally?”
“Did both sides move?”
“Am I being treated fairly?”
Sellers sometimes think protecting margin requires becoming rigid.
It does not.
Commercial firmness and fairness are compatible.
In fact, a clearly explained trade can feel fairer than an arbitrary discount.
For example:
“If we shorten the implementation timetable, we need additional resources on the project. That increases our cost. If timing is flexible, we can look at the commercial structure differently.”
There is logic behind the position.
The buyer can understand it.
Contrast that with:
“I’ll ask my manager if we can knock another 5% off.”
One sounds commercially grounded.
The other sounds arbitrary.
And arbitrary pricing invites challenge.
The Hidden Cost of Unconditional Concessions
When sellers think about concessions, they usually calculate the immediate cost.
5% discount.
£5,000 implementation fee waived.
Extra support included.
But there can be several hidden costs.
Reduced price integrity
If price moves immediately, the buyer may question how credible the original number was.
Increased future expectations
The buyer may expect similar flexibility at renewal.
Lower perceived value
Free extras can quickly become invisible extras.
Weaker negotiating position
The buyer has discovered that pressure creates movement.
Internal precedent
What happens when the same commercial terms are expected across other accounts?
Relationship distortion
The customer may begin to associate the supplier relationship with repeated concession-seeking.
This is why a concession should always be evaluated beyond:
“Can we afford to give this?”
Ask:
“What will giving this teach the buyer?”
Concessions Are Not Just About Price
One of the biggest negotiation mistakes is treating price as the only variable.
Almost every commercial agreement contains multiple variables.
Price.
Volume.
Contract duration.
Payment timing.
Implementation.
Scope.
Service levels.
Customisation.
Delivery.
Access to specialists.
Training.
Exclusivity.
Renewal.
Case study rights.
Reference permissions.
Forecast commitments.
When negotiation becomes fixated on price, sellers lose flexibility.
A stronger negotiator creates a concession inventory before the negotiation.
Three categories are useful.
Low cost to us, high value to them
Excellent potential trades.
Similar value to both sides
Useful balancing variables.
High cost to us, low value to them
Poor concessions.
This preparation matters.
Because if sellers wait until they are under pressure to decide what they can trade, emotion is likely to influence the decision.
The Concession Discipline
I recommend a six-stage process.
1. PAUSE
Do not react immediately.
The request is information.
Treat it as information.
Buyer:
“We need another 10%.”
Seller:
“Okay. Let’s explore that.”
Calm.
No panic.
No concession.
2. CLARIFY
Understand what is behind the request.
“What’s driving the 10%?”
“Is this a budget issue, a comparison with another supplier, or an internal requirement?”
“What would the 10% enable you to do?”
“Where does our current proposal feel misaligned?”
You may discover that the issue is not price at all.
It could be perceived value.
Budget timing.
Internal politics.
Risk.
Procurement procedure.
Or simply a test.
Do not solve a problem until you know what the problem is.
3. RE-ANCHOR
Reconnect the request to value.
“Before we change the commercial structure, can we revisit the impact you said this would have on project delays and operational cost?”
You are not avoiding price.
You are restoring context.
4. CONDITIONALISE
Make any potential movement conditional.
“If we were able to move on X, we would need movement on Y.”
This prevents a concession becoming a free gift.
It also gives you time to think.
5. TRADE
Make the exchange explicit.
“If we include the additional support, we would need to retain the current price and confirm the three-year term.”
Or:
“If we reduce the initial investment, the most sensible route would be to reduce the phase-one scope.”
Notice the principle.
Never concede in isolation.
6. CONFIRM
Once agreement is reached, make it clear.
“So we are agreed. We retain the implementation timetable, you confirm the three-year term, and we reduce the initial fee by 4%. Is that the final commercial position from both sides?”
This reduces the risk of the buyer pocketing the concession and immediately reopening the negotiation.
The sequence is:
PAUSE → CLARIFY → RE-ANCHOR → CONDITIONALISE → TRADE → CONFIRM
The Difference Between Giving and Trading
Compare these conversations.
Weak version
Buyer:
“We need 10% off.”
Seller:
“That’s going to be difficult, but I think I could probably get you 5%.”
Buyer:
“What about 8%?”
The seller has conceded against themselves.
The buyer did not have to exchange anything.
Now compare:
Stronger version
Buyer:
“We need 10% off.”
Seller:
“Help me understand what is driving the 10%.”
Buyer:
“We have a budget ceiling.”
Seller:
“Understood. Is the ceiling fixed, or are you trying to bring this into line with another proposal?”
Buyer:
“The budget is fixed.”
Seller:
“Then rather than simply cutting the price, let’s look at the variables. We could reduce scope, phase the implementation, or if the three-year commitment is possible, I may have more flexibility commercially. Which is most workable for you?”
Now there is negotiation.
Not resistance.
Not surrender.
Problem solving.
The Power of Smaller, Slower Movement
If you need to concede, how you move matters.
Large, rapid concessions can suggest significant remaining flexibility.
Smaller, slower concessions can communicate that you are approaching a genuine boundary.
Imagine:
£100,000.
Then £92,000.
Then £85,000.
What does the pattern suggest?
More room.
Now imagine:
£100,000.
Then £97,000.
Then £95,500.
Then £95,000.
The decreasing movement sends a different signal.
The seller appears to be approaching a limit.
Again, negotiation is communication.
The size, timing and pattern of concessions all say something.
Do Not Make the Buyer Negotiate Against Themselves
There is another common mistake.
Seller:
“It’s £100,000, but I might be able to get that down to £92,000.”
Buyer:
“I hadn’t asked.”
The seller has just negotiated against themselves.
This often happens because the salesperson anticipates resistance.
They are trying to pre-empt an objection.
Psychologically, they are attempting to remove discomfort before it even occurs.
Do not assume the buyer requires a concession.
Let them tell you.
And when they do, explore why.
The Role of Silence
After stating a commercial position, stop talking.
This is harder than it sounds.
Seller:
“The investment is £100,000.”
Silence.
The seller’s internal monologue begins:
“They hate it.”
“I’ve lost them.”
“Say something.”
“Offer the phased option.”
“Mention the discount.”
Resist.
Silence is not automatically rejection.
The buyer may simply be thinking.
A seller who fills silence too quickly can weaken their own position without the buyer doing anything.
One of the most valuable negotiation skills is being comfortable enough not to rescue the buyer from thinking.
When Should You Give Something Without a Trade?
“Never give anything away” is a useful negotiating discipline, but not an absolute rule for every commercial relationship.
Context matters.
There may be occasions when you choose to make a goodwill gesture.
Service recovery.
Strategic relationship investment.
A genuine mistake.
A long-term partnership consideration.
That can be sensible.
But make it deliberate.
And make its value visible.
For example:
“We missed the agreed deadline, and we want to recognise the disruption that caused. We are going to include the additional support package at our cost.”
That is not weak negotiation.
It is intentional relationship management.
The difference is that the concession is made for a reason rather than from discomfort.
Sales Managers Need to Coach Concession Behaviour
Managers frequently coach negotiation after the price has already moved.
“Why did you give them 8%?”
Too late.
Coach before the meeting.
Ask:
“What do you expect them to ask for?”
“What can you trade?”
“What is expensive for us but low value for them?”
“What is inexpensive for us but high value for them?”
“What do you need in return?”
“What is your walk-away position?”
“What will you say if they ask for 10%?”
Then rehearse it.
Buyer:
“Your competitor is cheaper.”
Pause.
Respond.
Buyer:
“We need an additional six months’ support included.”
Pause.
Respond.
Buyer:
“If you want the deal this quarter, you need to move.”
Pause.
Respond.
Negotiation confidence is built before pressure appears.
The Concession Audit
Before your next important negotiation, write down:
What might they ask for?
What is each concession worth to us?
What might each concession be worth to them?
What will we ask for in return?
What can we trade before price?
What are our boundaries?
Who has authority to move?
What signals could our concession pattern send?
This takes minutes.
It can save substantial margin.
More importantly, it can change the psychology of the negotiation.
What Sales Leaders Should Measure
Margin matters.
But if you only measure final discount percentage, you miss useful behavioural information.
Also inspect:
Was the first concession too quick?
Was it conditional?
What did we receive in return?
Did the seller explore the request before moving?
Did they re-anchor value?
Were non-price variables used?
Did concession size decrease?
Was the final agreement clearly confirmed?
These are coachable behaviours.
And better behaviours create better commercial outcomes.
The Bigger Brain Friendly Selling® Principle
There is a wider lesson here.
Brain Friendly Selling® is about understanding how people interpret information, risk, value and behaviour.
A concession is information.
It tells the buyer something.
The seller may intend it to say:
“We value the relationship.”
But the buyer may hear:
“There was plenty of margin in the original price.”
The seller may intend:
“We want to be flexible.”
The buyer may hear:
“There is more available if I keep asking.”
The seller may intend:
“We’re being generous.”
The buyer may simply incorporate the concession into the new baseline and forget it was ever given.
That is why concessions must be designed.
Not improvised.
Final Thought
A concession is never only a concession.
It changes the psychology of the negotiation.
It influences perceived value.
Reference points.
Expectations.
Reciprocity.
Fairness.
Confidence.
Future behaviour.
That means the question is not simply:
“Can we afford to give this away?”
The better questions are:
“What does this concession communicate?”
“What will the buyer learn from it?”
“What are we receiving in return?”
Before you move:
Pause.
Clarify.
Re-anchor.
Conditionalise.
Trade.
Confirm.
Be collaborative.
Be fair.
Be commercially intelligent.
But do not confuse generosity with good negotiation.
Because giving something away too quickly can cost you far more than the margin you surrendered.
It can change what the buyer believes your value was worth in the first place.
Subscribe to Simon Hazeldine’s
“More Sales, More Often, More Margin” newsletter.
Simon’s regular newsletter contains powerful and practical sales and negotiation
strategies, tactics, and tips to help you to grow your revenue and bottom-line profits.
About the author
Simon Hazeldine is a leading sales psychology and sales performance expert, helping organisations improve sales results through neuroscience-based selling, sales leadership, negotiation and practical behaviour change.
He works internationally as a revenue growth and sales performance speaker, consultant, and coach. He empowers his clients to get more sales, more often with more margin.
Simon has spoken in over thirty countries and his client list includes some of the world’s largest and most successful companies.
He has a master’s degree in psychology, is the bestselling author of ten books that have been endorsed by a host of business leaders including multi-billionaire business legend Michael Dell and is co-founder of leading sales podcast “The Sales Chat Show”.
Simon is the creator of the neuroscience based “Brain Friendly Selling”® methodology.
Simon Hazeldine’s books:
- Neuro-Sell: How Neuroscience Can Power Your Sales Success
- Bare Knuckle Selling
- Bare Knuckle Negotiating
- Bare Knuckle Customer Service
- The Inner Winner
- How To Lead Your Sales Team – Virtually and in Person
- Virtual Selling Success
- How To Manage Your People’s Performance
- How To Create Effective Employee Development Plans
- Virtual Negotiation Success
